Dick Cheney morbid news freak...

Okay…
I admit it…
I'm a Dick Cheney morbid news freak…

And what I want to know now is:

More about those early DUIs of his...
Give me all the sordid little details…

How about a well-chosen interview or two?

Was he wobbling and shouting:
"Fuck you"
"And Fuck you"
"And Fuck you too..."
At his arresting officers?

And speaking of officers...
Tell me exactly what he said five times
To those officers
Who tried to recruit him for the Vietnam war.
That ought to be worth
An evil belly laugh or two.

But really,
And truly,
And mostly...

What I want to know more than anything else
About our dirty little public Dick,
Concerns...
The ending of that Jay Leno clip...

Now that's some super-hyper-provocative shower grime...

So please,
Tell me more,
About that little germ-infested corner of Cheney,
I never even knew existed…

Sure...

I knew that as
CEO of Halliburton...
He offshored to Bermuda various divisions...
To avoid paying corporate tax to the very government...
That now pays to have an ambulance follow him around 24/7/365...

Sure...
I knew that.
But that's just paltry elephant peanut shit...

When compared to...
The ending of that Leno piece...

So c'mon...
For godsakes...
And chrissakes…
Shine some sunlight on that festering hole of sin...
Will ya please?

Hurry...
'Cause,
I need my dirty Cheney morbid news fix.

Yes,
I admit,
I'm an evil junkie...
And yes,
I admit,
I am bored
Of the various...
Vampires, Hitlers, and Osama bin Blairs.

I NEED my evil Cheney fix NOW!

Goddammit...
I've gone without,
For almost,
One whole solid unsoiled day...